He's just not that into you....

okay so my title is a teensy bit misleading but it's not completely random.

I had my own kinda SATC evening out last night. You know how it goes, 4 friends, plenty of booze and some pretty candid chat. Just what you'd expect from a girlie night out.... except this wasn't a girlie night out for three of the participants. I meet up with Simon, James and Dom* on a regular basis and whilst I do get a modicum of flack for occasionally talking about diets, shoes and spots there is very little difference between a night out with them and a night out with the girls.
(*names have been changed to protect the guilty!) It's like SATC but with only slightly less sharking, real ale in place of cosmopolitans and quite frankly almost no effort on the shoe-front from at least 3 members of the group. There is, however, just as much gossip with many inappropriate conversations.


We've all known each other for well over 18 years and are party to all number of secrets you wouldn't share with your mother and I'll admit it I have shared a stolen snog with all three of them at some point, but not for many MANY years.

James is an an exciting fledgling relationship after recently exiting one that lasted more than 10 years. He's still at that 'stupid grin' phase made even more nauseating given that he has to gallivant around Europe to see his new woman every fortnight. Oh the poor thing.... (yes that is a hint of jealousy you detect. Why can't I have a fabulous job in an exotic location??!) Most of my friends have had a crush on James over the years but he sees himself as a balding, ginger git. Nice.

Simon is getting married in 2 months time after taking a mere 8 years to propose to his fantastic other half. They are, what would have been called in the '80s', YUPPIES. Well sort of. They both have pretty stonking PR jobs and are settling into a rather fabulous house in a very desire able London village. The last time I went to their house I tried to find a way of secretly stealing wife-to-be's Louboutins...Last night's drink was masquerading as the pre-stag-do drink up, as for some reason they won't let me come on the official stag-do unless I agree to be the entertainment. Thanks chaps.

Then there is dependable Dom. Married for the last 5 years with a gorgeous two year old daughter. I probably love Dom the most as he and his lovely wife are so down to earth and don't try to dress things up to something they are not. And they call a spade a spade. Really. I've very envious of Mrs Dom as she says all the things I want to say but simply don't have the balls to. And she's not the only one. Hence my reason for the title of this blog. 'he's just not that into you' was a defining eureka moment on SATC a few seasons ago. It stripped the scales from many a misguided girl's eyes. And that's why I love Dom so much. He may not give me 'Eureka!' moments but he does make me realise that I'm not a bad person for thinking such obvious things sometimes.

Let me explain. Dom has, as I mentioned, a beautiful two year daughter whom he loves unconditionally. But.... yes you knew there was one coming....But...he readily admits that sometimes he wishes he didn't have a daughter. And so does Mrs Dom. He marvels at the funny moments she provides them with , he recounts daft conversations you can have only with a two year old but he's not afraid to admit that if she wasn't around his life would still be complete.

THANKYOU!

This man (and his wife) are truly the only friends I have who are not worried about admitting they 'could take it or leave it' with regards to a child who is already living in their house. People without children are fine about saying it, but you just try to find one who will dare utter that kind of sentiment around other parents. It just doesn't happen. They didn't know if they wanted children or not but as there was some ticking of a biological clock, they just decided to leave it to nature to decide. And it did decide... first time. hahahaha - well done chaps.

We had a long conversation about this last night. Given my pending nuptials, the question on everyone's lips is generally 'when will you try for a baby?. Dom is the only one who has the guts to tell me to make sure it's what I really want and if it's not then don't do it! Everyone else just talks it up and bangs on about 'how amazing it is', 'how it's different when it's your own'....I could go on and on. I just know how knackered I am after a one night sleepover with my nephew. I think new parents should get some kind of medal for the years of sleep-deprivation, cash-deprivation, pub-deprivation and general sex-deprivation (yes yes, I said the 's' word, but you know it's true!)

So anyway, that's my thought for the day. Probably not very PC but what the heck.

Oh and the other reason I love my boy/girlfriends is that Dom still felt the need to tell me last night (for the very first time) about how he turned down 'a promise' on another mate's stag do more than 10 years ago because we were in the middle of our six-month fling. And apparently she was gorgeous. Thanks Dom. The strange thing is, this still gave me a fuzzy feeling even though it was the most ill-advised fling ever and even now we still don't know how we're still friends because of it and why we thought it would be a good idea ever to get together. Oh, and it was made all the funnier by Simon announcing that he got off with 'that girl' instead as it 'would have been rude not to'....

I can't wait for my pre-hen-do-drink....