Have some respect

TOWIE'S LAUREN 'I've aborted Mark's baby'
Lovely. I'm sure we all feel much better knowing that.

That headline greeted me at the cashdesk in Boots and it actually made me feel a little sick. Don't misunderstand me, I'm not one of those militant pro-lifers who go around torching abortion clinics, I'm very much pro-choice. I don't believe there should be legislation to decide whether a woman should have a baby or not - it is a personal choice and, on the whole, one that most women will make after a great deal of thought.

If I had been in a position where I had to make that decision (for whatever reason), I'm not sure that I would want to publicise it to the whole world and it's certainly not one that I would have wanted emblazoned in such a sensational way on the front of popular glossy. I'm sure I'm not alone.

I've never watched The Only Way is Essex. I have no idea who Lauren and Mark are, if they are still together or if they wish to scratch each other's eyes out. I do know that after seeing this, I have no desire to start watching. I also don't know if the article is a sensitive, sorry tale or actually rather vulgar and full of hate towards Mark - from the headline next to a smiling photo of someone I presume is Lauren, I would think it was the latter. It doesn't make me want to buy the magazine, it makes me think rather badly of the editorial team.

I have no ill-feelings towards Lauren for terminating her pregnancy, but I have nothing but disgust and disdain towards her for choosing to profit from it in this manner.

Have some respect for yourself woman. If you don't, then please don't expect anyone else to.

Things I thought about this week

1) Why do I leave a pub or a restaurant and feel absolutely fine but by the time i get home, I'm completely smashed? I don't remember secretly drinking more on the journey.

2) Why did I think i was fat for my whole life (rather than just now, when I actually am....)? On Sunday I was given a photo of myself in a bikini top and shorts taken about 13 years ago and i was HOT! I do not recall ever being that skinny but the evidence suggests that i was. Why did nobody tell me? Or maybe they did and I just didn't listen...

2a) I wonder why, though, the same people tell me I'm not fat now and I never look any different when, in fact, 2.5 stone does show rather a lot and clearly I don't look exactly the same. Photographic evidence proves this.


3) You're getting the lift to the first floor - SERIOUSLY!? 20 stairs too much for you? Yes I did just look at you like you're an idiot because you are. And a lazy one at that.

4) I am gobsmacked how people think it's okay to get on an overheating tube carriage, stand right by the big open window and then close it because it's too draughty for them. You chose to stand there and the window was already open because the rest of the carriage is melting. Have a word with yourself.

4a) Please note South Eastern Trains - just because it's raining, it doesn't mean the temperature has dropped by 15 degrees.... we DO NOT need the heating on in August. Anyone who feels the cold in August has already put a coat on.

5) Life is cruel and unfair and sometimes it does really horrid things to undeserving people for no apparent reason. You know who you are honey, and we're thinking of you.

5a) Sometimes people are cruel and unfair and for some reason choose only to hurt the people closest to them. Then others join in and make the victim feel like it was their fault. Again, you know who you are and your real friends and family are all there for you.

6) Sometimes I get too serious and think too much. I think that's seriously bad.
7) I love the way my hubby can have me laughing my ass off over really stupid stuff. Particularly when I'm being too serious.

8) I'm slightly confused that when spellchecking this blog, it threw up 'because' and offered Becca/Becky/Beau as alternatives. When did 'because' become an incorrect spelling? And why did it not highlight my real spelling mistakes?

9) I really fancy some chocolate....

Like mother like daughter? I hope not....

My mother visted on Saturday after kindly offering to help me write the wedding invitiations. I went to the spare room with my cup of tea to dig out some decent writing instruments.

At this stage I should point out, I have only a small flat. The door to the spare room is a mere 1.5 feet from the door to the living room, not somewhere out in the West Wing....

Me: [very calm voice] Erm, Mum, I need a cloth in here please.
Mum: What?
Me: [still quite calm] Could you fetch me a cloth please?
Mum: What? Can't hear you? Why?
Me: [through gritted teeth and a bit louder] Really need a cloth in here quite soon...have spilt my tea.
Mum: Where are you?!
Me: [shouting] in the bloody spare room and really in desperate need of a bloody cloth!
Mum: no need to shout, why didn't you say so?

I have no further comment.

It's not just me!

What I like about blogging is you just happen upon random other blogs. I'll admit that I have quickly scooched past the All-American Family/Emo teenager/christian worship ones but one or two have caught my eye.

I am currently loving http://crummymummywhodrinks.blogspot.com/ . At a guess, I'd say we're a similar age (okay so she's probably a teensy bit younger) but unlike me she's pregnant with her second child... and she's not adapting well!

I love the fact she is seen as a bad mother by the not-so-crummy-mummies because she arranged her child's birthday party on the same day as the school charity fete [does she have no community loyalty?!??!] and I too have had the same thoughts over why the cleaner feels the need to clean EVERYTHING with kitchen roll rather than the reusable jay-cloths that are lovingly left for her.

To be honest, I do know a lot of people who have these moments but it's always fun getting a bit validation for being just a tiny bit crazy-lady every once in a while.

So let's put it out there, because I can't be the only one to do these things:

1 - saying 'thank you' in a very loud voice when someone lets a door slam in your face rather than holding it open for you.

2 - saying 'please' in a sarcastic manner when someone pushes past you on the train muttering 'excuse me' in a really pious voice. [this did result in a rather humourous exchange with a business man the other day who was slightly embarrassed when i did this and apologised blaming it on being tired....]

3 - picking up the cigarette packet/fast food wrapper/similar litter that someone drops in the street and giving it back to them saying in a most helpful way 'I think you dropped this...'.

An ex-boyfriend told me off for doing this to a group of teenagers who threw their Macdonald's packets out of their stationary car at a bus stop in Blackheath. I gave them their rubbish back and boyfriend dragged me away chastising me that it wouldn't be me they would turn-on it would be him. I wouldn't have minded but said ex-boyfriend was built like a shed and the average age of the 4 pimply children in the car was around 18 and had a combined weight of around 10 stone. Pah wimp!

Anyway, enough of that, I really should get busy, work to do... wedding to organise.... oh yes, and on that note, at what point does organising a wedding automatically allow you to be dubbed 'bridezilla'?

It's a no-win situation... if you do talk about it, then you're a bridezilla, if you don't talk about it (because I'm the first to admit that, like babies, your wedding is far more interesting to you than to other people) then there must be something wrong - Cue questions like 'Is someone upsetting your bridezilla plans?'

I was dubbed a bridezilla by a colleague because by 6 weeks after the engagement we had booked the church, reception venue and photographer. I thought that was actually being rather organised and a good thing so that I would not turn into a bridezilla and tearing my hair out that everywhere we wanted wouldn't be available if we left it later... go figure.

Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to be a bridezilla I go.... :o)

Too much information....

Facebook is turning us all into narcissists.

I read that in a magazine a few days ago and it made me think quite hard about whether that's true or not and sadly I think it is. We all bash out our status updates often sharing things that we would never have dreamed of a few years back, to a bunch of our 'friends' most of whom don't give a rat's bum that "David is tired" or "Christine has just spent her entire salary in the sales! LOL ". What if no-one comments on your status? Shock horror!! Maybe you're not interesting anymore??! What if your 'friends' are deserting you!?

I cannot get high and mighty on this as I am possibly the world's worst at sharing far too much information. Work sucks right now. I'm not the only one - far from it. But is shouting out how much your boss is getting on your nerves or how much you have to do before Friday really the most productive way of getting it out of your system? Whatever happened to having a drink with a girlfriend and bitching about your jobs? Or going home and having a little rant to your significant other before settling down for a cuddle on the sofa and ignoring all the crap just for a few hours before you dive back in the next morning.

I think we all like to believe that our cyber-'friends' all care about our feelings as much as we do and that simply is not the case. And why should they? They all have their own lives and feelings to worry about. Of course they care about your wellbeing and if you were truly having some sort of breakdown then they would be on the phone like a shot but if you were having a proper breakdown, I'm pretty sure that Facebook wouldn't be the first place you'd advertise it.... although maybe I'm wrong... who can forget the twitter feed that went viral when an American woman tweeted....

I'm in a board meeting. Having a miscarriage. Thank goodness, because there's a f*****-up 3-week hoop-jump to have an abortion in Wisconsin.

Lovely. I'm sure we all feel better for knowing that. I'm still trying to decide if that is worse that the executioner who tweeted details of how he'd just prepped someone for their final moments. Is nothing sacred?!!

I LOVE Facebook though. It is such a useful tool on so many levels but I think we all (including me) need to chill a little. Let's go back to using that (and Twitter) for the purpose it was originally intended. For catching up with our friends ... not our 'friends' . I love the fact I can see piccies of my friends' new offspring when I know that I won't get the chance to see them in person for quite a while, it's great that we can arrange birthday parties and drinks with a simple 'invitation/event' function and I like the fact we can take the mickey out of each other's terrible photographs and daft status updates as a brief escapism during a lunch break or on a boring commute.

C'mon admit it, how many times have you seen someone's status flash up and you've rolled your eyes or thought 'TOO MUCH INFORMATION!' ? We've all done it and to be honest I've re-read some of my statuses and cringed. Hey ho. I'm sure I'll learn one day. In the meantime I might just take a step back and re-read my updates first before I hit send ... just in case!

The new Victor Meldrew...

I re-read my blog every so often and there is a common theme. I sound really f*&$*d off most of the time. Not sure that was intentional. Clearly things that sound quite witty in my head sound incredibly angry when in print. Oh well.

I'm obviously turning into Charlier Brooker. Just not the bit of Brooker that is sh*gging Konnie Huq. That would be weird.

Budget ramblings....

So am I the only one who thinks the budget could have been a lot worse?
Considering the quagmire of crap this country is currently in I think we should be thankful that we don't all have to start batoning down the hatches and adopting the 'brace' position.

1 - VAT rises to 20%.
not brilliant but worth remembering that food (ie: an essential item) is exempt from VAT. Restaurants and luxury foods aren't exempt but you will still be able to afford to eat. So that's good.
That top for £10 in H&M will cost you £10.25 after the increase. Hardly a bank breaker. If you can afford a £500 pair of Louboutin's then you can afford the extra £12.50 of VAT.
What else attracts zero VAT - oh yes, betting (including your lottery tickets), sports and leisure activities (going to the footie perhaps?), arts & cultural activities (festivals? concerts? museums?).

2 - Your personal allowance will be increased by £1000 - in layman's terms, you can earn another £1000 before you start paying tax. That will go part way to making up for the extra VAT you're paying on your new jeans.

3. Council tax freezes for the next year. Marvellous. Anyone got a problem with that? Thought not.

4. Capital Gains tax stays the same for low and middle-income savers but goes up for higher rate taxpayers. I can live with that. Sounds fair to me.

5. CIGARETTES, ALCOHOL AND FUEL - No change this time round. Bloody hell - what more does your average Sun reader want?! Okay, perhaps a little unfair but, again, that's a pretty good deal. Times are hard and no one needs to make you feel worse by being made to pay more for your fuel or having a beer and fag at the weekend.

6. BENEFITS Child benefit will be frozen for the next three years. Okay, I can see that's not gonna be a popular one. But at the same time, look at what the benefit is actually for... the government pays you money for choosing to have a family. That's right - you choose to have some children and they give you money. Doesn't matter if you earn £5000 or £500,000. (now I'm not going to be very popular for saying that)

7. Tax credits will be reduced for families earning over £40,000 next year. Low income families will get more Child Tax Credit - the amount per child will rise by £150 above the rate of inflation next year. See no.6. Now that's more like it. Look after the people who need it most. £40,000 income doesn't make you rich but you're not in poverty either.

8. . Lone parents will be expected to look for work when their youngest child goes to school.
Mmmm, nice idea but not sure how that will be practical. Can't see my boss being happy about me turning up at 10 and leaving at 2pm so that I could take a child to school and then pick them up. It could work provided the support is given for a decent and affordable childcare structure to be put in place. Might have to have a further investigation into this before passing judgement....

9. From 2011 - except for the state pension and pension credit - benefits, tax credits and public service pensions will rise in line with the Consumer Price Index, rather than the, generally higher, Retail Price Index, saving over £6 billion a year by the end of the Parliament. Anyone got a problem with that? If so, why?

10. New maximum limit of £400 a week will be applied to Housing Benefit. Hoo - bloody - rah! I'd love to have over £1600 a month to spend on my house/flat . Jeez. If someone is helping you to rent your home then you don't need to take the *%$!*. You can afford a decent family sized home for £1600 per month. Okay, you can't have it zone 2 but you can get one - and surely the most important thing is to have a safe place to live and a roof over your head and the heads of your children.

11. PUBLIC SECTOR PAY Public sector workers face a two-year pay freeze, although 1.7 million of those earning less than £21,000 will get a flat pay-rise worth £250 in both years. Welcome to what the private sector workers have been putting up with for years! I'd be quite happy with £250 payrise... right now I'd be happy with a fiver!

12. PENSIONSThe basic state pension will be linked to earnings from April 2011, with the pension guaranteed to rise in line with earnings, prices or 2.5%, whichever is the greater. The government will accelerate the increase in state pension age to 66.
So it will be increasing annually then? And people will still be getting pensions then? Good. no need to moan there.

13. BUSINESSFrom April 2011, the threshold at which employers start to pay National Insurance will rise by £21 per week, above indexation. Corporation Tax will be cut next year to 27%, and by 1% annually for the next three years, until it reaches 24%. The small companies' tax rate will be cut to 20%
So, this is the 'growth ' part then that everyone has been so quick to jump on. This all seems good to me. It will encourage businesses to keep trading, keep employing people and also give them a bit of a chance to get back on their feet if they've been hit by the recession.

14. Tax relief for the video games industry will be scrapped.
Am I missing something? Why did they get it in the first place?!

Anyway this is just the tip of the iceberg, I'm sure there are lots of other things I've not picked up on and I'm sure that there are a whole load of people who will be screaming from the rooftops about how disgusting this is but I won't be one of them.

For whatever reason (and I'm not going to even try to apportion blame as I would go on for hours!), this country is broke. Nul, nada, nowt, f*** all in the bank. And we need to change that.

We will all be hit in one way of another. Tax rises, benefit cuts, education cuts... cuts cuts cuts... It's not pretty but it's a reality. There will always be someone who gets hit worst, be it the single mother or the pensioners or the singletons living alone. You can't please everyone all of the time. In a lot of cases, you can't please anyone ANY of the time! But we have to understand that our parents and grandparents had it far worse than any of us will. They still had food rationing until 1954!!!

3 years after the war ended, you still couldn't get any eggs - you were allowed 1 if and when available PER WEEK!
How about 2oz/50ishgrams bacon or ham per person per week...? or 1.5 oz/40g cheese per person per week.
I believe that is LESS than in your average fast food burger....

So before we all start having a toot at how terrible the chancellor is and how the bloody tories are stiffing everyone, have a think about had bad things really are.

If we're struggling with cash, we ALL have things we could do without. Do you smoke, do you drink? Do you go on holiday? Do you buy lots of clothes?

I want the people who don't have these luxuries to shed to be looked after. It's the poverty-line families I want the benefits to go to. If I have a baby and don't get child benefit - so what? I have a job, I have a home. I'll manage. It will be my choice.

If my luck runs out and I lose my job and my other half loses his job and we're completely up the creek, then I'll ask for help.